Fake Sugar and vacation countdown!

Well... this week's 'iced coffee selfie that illustrates nothing' actually does illustrate something.  Don't wear this shirt and a sports bra that smashes the boobies.  I look like a blob.

Last week I had been thinking that by this week I would not have that iced coffee in my hand and would be off artificial sweeteners.  I am not.  Not even a little.  I am trying to be more mindful about it and make a least a few choices here and there that don't involve that garbage.  I didn't have any diet soda at all yesterday,  and I drank a cup of tea with no real or fake sugar in it at all, and actually enjoyed it!

We leave on Friday for our vacation and I feel awesome that I have been able to stick to this the whole time!!  I do wish I had exercised more and was in better running shape, but, oh well... it is what it is.

The big test now is coming HOME from vacation and staying attached to this new lifestyle.  I am actually not worried about the vacation itself.  The food in Mexico is all real. actual food, and we don't eat crap down there anyway.  We DO, however, drink lots of sugary margaritas, and I have NO plans to skimp on those!  ;-)  I never gain weight on vacation though, we are SO active- walking-swimming-snorkeling-biking-hiking-ziplining-parasailing....... that it all evens out.  The tricky parts are the travel days.  I think my Cinnabon experience will help me stay on track as eating shitty food while traveling does NOT work for me, or anyone around me ;-)

Day 30!

Luna looks on in the kitchen as the crazy lady takes a yoga selfie

I can't believe that I am on day 30 and still going strong!  I guess since it's been a month now, I should do a little run-down of changes that I have or have not noticed.

Things that have not changed....

• I am still fat.  (I shouldn't say things like that, I know.... positive self talk... blah blah blah....)
• I still have a LOT of bags of clothes that are waiting for me to be smaller so that I can wear them.
• I cannot run 3 miles without walking at all.
• I still do not go to the gym or exercise as much as I would like to
• I still love Justin Bieber
• And One Direction.

Things that HAVE changed....

• I have LESS fat on my body.
• The button on my jeans is not standing on the ledge threatening to of jump from the pressure it's under.
• I can wear some of the clothes that I had not been wearing because they didn't fit properply.
• I can run/walk in 1 minute intervals easily for 15 minutes (and surely more than that, but that is all I have done so far)
• I feel confident in the weight room at the gym, even when Lonnie is not there with me
• I LOOK FORWARD to Sunday yoga
• I don't crave McDonald's anymore. Or cheez its.  Or sour patch kids.
• We have saved probably around $200-400 dollars this month because there is no more nightlt convenience store snack run.  When I think of the shitty food and wasted money.... I almost didn't even want to type that one out because it's embarrassing.
• Much less alcohol is being consumed.  We used to have a tradition of finding new wines to pair with our dinner on Wednesdays, and on weekends would have a couple drinks in the evening.  BUT, even if I have one glass of alcohol, I feel like a zombie in the morning and have to drag my ass out of bed, and I don't need excuses to not get up and going!!  ESPECIALLY on Sunday mornings because I want to feel good for yoga!
• My skin is better, breakouts and blemishes are basically non-existent!
• I never have "stomach issues" anymore or wake up feeling gross
• There have also been some weird changes that may or may not be related....
• I get up earlier every day
• I make my bed every day
• I have started to enjoy folding and putting away laundry and it doesn't just live in baskets anymore

WOW that is a big list of reasons to never stop living this way, and right now I honestly don't even want to stop!  I feel awesome, happy, energized, and confident!!  GO ME!!

Day 9- Doin' fine

Not a lot to say today!  Still doing well.  Lonnie and Sean managed to hit the gym yesterday, but I was on-call, so I didn't go.  I should have.  I could have easily walked on the treadmill or lifted weights and left if I got called in... actually since the gym is in Bangor, I am closer to wherever I get called to... lesson learned!

On another note I need to figure out how to fix the giant-ass banner of this blog.

Since this blog is just sitting here unused.... DAY ONE

...and I was trying to think of a way to journal through this new endeavor, why not use it!?

I'd like a little less belly and little less face please :)

Today I am starting yet another diet.   Screw all you "don't diet, change your lifestyle people."  That is totally just something you say when you don't want to admit you are on a diet.  Also... dieting IS changing your lifestyle.  Currently my lifestyle is eating McDonald's and chips and chex mix and well... whatever the hell I feel like eating when I am hungry, bored, tired, stressed, annoyed, upset, or see a commercial for something yummy.  My lifestyle is also mostly sitting and sleeping with brief, occasional spurts of exercise.

SO... "changing my lifestyle" means from today until I leave for Mexico on February 5th, I am going to live a different "lifestyle."   I am going to use air-quotes a lot.  I am going to eat only meats and veggies, and some cheese.  I am not going to give up my full-of-artificial-sweetener daily morning iced coffee.  BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO!  I am going to hit the gym often and hard.  I am going to focus on weight lifting AND getting back up to running.  It may be unrealistic to think I will be able to live up to my daydream of getting up early to go for a jog through Cozumel before the cruise ships have debarked and everyone is still sleeping, but I can CERTAINLY go for a jog/walk.... and maybe even mostly a jog!


Tricky areas and plan of attack:

My job.

I work 12-14 hour shifts on Monday and Tuesday every week.  Then I work 8pm to 8am Thursday nights.  I use my job as an excuse to eat McDonald's because I fucking LOVE their plain cheeseburgers and fries.  So good.  Judge away... I don't care.  I realize that for most people McD's is something they eat because they need to grab something and go.  I actually LOOK FORWARD to Mondays and Tuesdays because I know I get to have McDonald's if I get called out.

Night shifts are an issue as well.  Sometimes I just get to sleep and they don't disrupt life at all.  Sometimes I am out all night and I never know what to eat or not eat.  Part of me feels like I shouldn't eat anything because I normally wouldn't if I was sleeping, but the other part of me gets HAAAAANGRY!!  And also when I get home and go to sleep, I have trouble sleeping long enough if I am hungry.

PLAN OF ATTACK:

• BREAKFAST- I will eat SOMETHING before I head out the door in the morning
• If I can go to McDonalds, I can ALSO go to the grocery store and grab things that aren't McDonald's.  I can't even think of a McDonald's that isn't within a mile of a grocery store.
• I will try to pack stuff.  This one is kind of a pipe dream.  I suck at this and because of the way my job is, it's hard to even know what to pack.  Sometimes I am on the road all day.  Sometimes I am in hospitals.  Sometimes I am home.  Usually it's a mix of all of them.  

And.... as I type this.... I get paged....  

This is hard. And yes... That's what she said.

Being an emotional eater sucks. Being an emotional eater at "that time the month" when you are highly emotional anyway and have cravings for things like cheez-it's and sugar cereal and sour patch kids and Ben and Jerry's coffee Heath bar crunch sucks extra super hard. Being an emotional eater when you are chomping at the bit for the love-of-your-life to move in with you and it's just days away... But it's not here yet and tonight you are alone... Extra alone because your kids are at their Dad's house... Extra extra super sucks.

I came home and ate half a box of cheez it's and then attacked a box of frosted flakes. I went over my calories by 263. Damn. I was then feeling my typical "oh well this day is blown, I may as well eat whatever." I was also trying to talk myself into going out for a walk or a run but feeling very lazy and tired...another of those wonderful things about pms ;-). As I sat here arguing with myself.... Enter Butters (my brother's dog)whining and dancing around wanting to go out... WELL... If I have to take him out anyway... I may as well take the little jerk for a nice long walk and cancel out my emotional binge!! So I took a 361 calorie walk and now have 97 left!! YAY ME!

I wrote this blog tonight to help me to not come home and ruin my success. Not gonna lie... I did have a brief moment of... "Well I already was over before and resigned myself to it... Maybe I should go for the sour patch kids in the name of pms...."

Not. Gonna. Do. It!!!!!