You're KILLIN' ME, Bunny!

As I filled many little fake plastic eggs for my way-too-old-for-this children (one of which is 20), it was not lost on me that perhaps since I know that sugar is poison and really has no place in a healthy lifestyle, that I should not feed copious amounts of it to my kids on holidays.  Particularly since my son definitely has a penchant to overdo.  We recently stopped buying cereal after numerous warnings to him about the 1/4-1/2 cup of sugar we kept catching him adding to it.  I have no illusions that at 14 years old, I am going to convince him to not eat sugar all the time.  But I CAN control what he eats at home with us!

As I filled many little fake plastic eggs for my way-too-old-for-this children (one of which is 20), I had SEVERAL moments of weakness.  The first of which was at Target when I was going to get the kids Peeps for their baskets with the sole purpose of my getting to eat some.  The Peeps stayed in the cart for about 3 minutes and then went back on the shelf.  This shit is not easy.  My brain is a battlefield of;

"Maybe just a few pieces..."  
"Maybe we should just take the weekend off and start back on Monday...." 
"Wow, some of those m&ms in the microwave would be just perfect......" 

I did not give in to the spoiled little girl inside that wants what she wants when she wants it!!!  And I won't today either. 

And WHY not?  Because I FEEL GOOD DAMNIT and I want to KEEP feeling good!

This Birthday girl didn't eat no cake

Normally when I disappear from the blog, that means I have fallen into a bucket of sugar.  But not this time!  I have found that with all the writing I am doing for grad school, my writing itch gets plenty of scratchin'! 

I celebrated my 42nd birthday on Saturday and I celebrated it with lots of love from family and friends and some super awesome presents, but NO CAKE or ICE CREAM!  I didn't even want it.  I know that having that stuff will just make me want more and more of it, and I also know that it will make me feel like crap mentally and physically, so I skipped it.  Yes it felt weird.  No I didn't feel like I was missing out.  Instead Lonnie and I spent the afternoon in the kitchen making my FAVORITE spicy chicken Mexican bowls with homemade guac, and because it was my birthday and I am not a masochist, I even had some rice in my bowl.  (ACTUALLY I am reading a great book called 'Paleo Takeout' and I learned that there is considerable evidence that white rice is actually NOT the devil that we think it is.  And since I like that information, I am going with it!)  Starting out my 42nd year on earth in this way really feels symbolic, like this is my year. This is the year I get my shit together and shed some serious poundage.  When I finally get that exercise component into play LOOK OUT WORLD!


 

 

 

Day 30!

Luna looks on in the kitchen as the crazy lady takes a yoga selfie

I can't believe that I am on day 30 and still going strong!  I guess since it's been a month now, I should do a little run-down of changes that I have or have not noticed.

Things that have not changed....

• I am still fat.  (I shouldn't say things like that, I know.... positive self talk... blah blah blah....)
• I still have a LOT of bags of clothes that are waiting for me to be smaller so that I can wear them.
• I cannot run 3 miles without walking at all.
• I still do not go to the gym or exercise as much as I would like to
• I still love Justin Bieber
• And One Direction.

Things that HAVE changed....

• I have LESS fat on my body.
• The button on my jeans is not standing on the ledge threatening to of jump from the pressure it's under.
• I can wear some of the clothes that I had not been wearing because they didn't fit properply.
• I can run/walk in 1 minute intervals easily for 15 minutes (and surely more than that, but that is all I have done so far)
• I feel confident in the weight room at the gym, even when Lonnie is not there with me
• I LOOK FORWARD to Sunday yoga
• I don't crave McDonald's anymore. Or cheez its.  Or sour patch kids.
• We have saved probably around $200-400 dollars this month because there is no more nightlt convenience store snack run.  When I think of the shitty food and wasted money.... I almost didn't even want to type that one out because it's embarrassing.
• Much less alcohol is being consumed.  We used to have a tradition of finding new wines to pair with our dinner on Wednesdays, and on weekends would have a couple drinks in the evening.  BUT, even if I have one glass of alcohol, I feel like a zombie in the morning and have to drag my ass out of bed, and I don't need excuses to not get up and going!!  ESPECIALLY on Sunday mornings because I want to feel good for yoga!
• My skin is better, breakouts and blemishes are basically non-existent!
• I never have "stomach issues" anymore or wake up feeling gross
• There have also been some weird changes that may or may not be related....
• I get up earlier every day
• I make my bed every day
• I have started to enjoy folding and putting away laundry and it doesn't just live in baskets anymore

WOW that is a big list of reasons to never stop living this way, and right now I honestly don't even want to stop!  I feel awesome, happy, energized, and confident!!  GO ME!!

Day 14- Two weeks of success!

Running at the gym... back to the beginning of Couch to 5k

Yoga mat LOCKED AND LOADED

What a great weekend! We actually got our asses to the gym BOTH days, and this morning got up early to get to Yoga by 9:15.  Yoga for fat people is just.... well... it's something.  Fortunately, I am very bendy, so my frustration when the chub gets in the way gets cancelled out by my competitive nature, "HA!  Yeah I'm fat, but I can touch the floor with my forward fold so HA!"  I totally fell on my ass trying to do one legged balancing
pose because I have zero balance and it. was. HYSTERICAL!

We even went to the movies today and ate a healthy, late, protein-packed, breakfast Fritatta before leaving, passed on the moviesnacks and ordered our favorite grilled chicken salads to pick up on the way home.  I did "splurge" a little and did not pick out my croutons, but I DID skip the included pita bread that I usually use to scrape up every last bit of their magical basil vinaigrette dressing. 

Still pondering tomorrow's gym plan.  I am HELLA SORE from squats and yoga... and probably the running too.  Thinking I need a day off.

Days 12 and 13

I got on the scale this morning.  Since I haven't been on the scale in a couple months, I have no idea how much I have lost since I started doing this, but I DO know that the number was lower than it was when I was on the scale a couple months ago, so YAY!  I try very hard to stay away from the scale altogether.  I read a book once that talked about being a slave to the scale, and it is SO TRUE.  I could be "ON IT" and feeling great, clothes fitting right, then get on the scale and see a number that is upsetting and BOOM.... no longer feeling great.  Because of a tiny electronic box.  My 20 year old daughter has NO idea what she weighs except when she goes to the doctor.  She thinks scales are stupid.  She just lives her life and eats normally, stops when she is full, and eats what she wants.  I am SO THANKFUL every day that I was able to raise her this way and not pass down my issues.  I worked hard to not ever limit food or make food an 'issue.'  I always had snacks in the house so that snacks were not "taboo."  And even though I hate fruit.  I worked hard to foster a love of fruit in both kids.

My 13 year old son is a whole other blog. 

Day 10- Gym again!

I actually made it to the gym today!   I was lifting heavy and feeling like a beast.

Aaaaaaaand then within 10 minutes of each other,  two beautiful young,  toned girls showed up.   And they meant business.   I mean the full on 'this weighs 3 times what I do weight dropping on the floor with a giant crash each time' business.

I totally let it get to me and all I wanted to do was finish up my set as fast as I could and get the fuck outta there.   UGH!    SO NOT COOL OF ME!  :::::sigh:::::%