The Bunny Lost

Weekly coffee selfie... new diningroom location!

It was a long day but I made it through.  Lonnie and I both came close to giving in when Sean came home with so, so much candy and was like a crack dealer trying to share it with us.  But we stood strong.   I kept thinking, "Well it's not like I am not going to have sugar at some point, why not on a holiday?"  and wondering if perhaps this torturing myself was just hollowing out a hole in my brain and I am eventually just going to go batshit crazy and EAT ALL THE THINGS to attempt to fill it up.  the funny thing is, at one point Lonnie said, "Just go ahead, pick like 4 pieces and keep it to that." 

1. :::insert spoiled voice::: I don't WANT 4 stupid pieces.  I want 104.
2. I couldn't even think of which 4 I would choose, honestly, none of them appealed to me-- which told me that it wasn't really the candy itself that I wanted, it was Veruca (that spoiled little girl!), being told no and throwing a tantrum.
3. :::alert--this is the twisted one::: I spend a good part of the day bitching and pouting and threatening to eat the candy to Lonnie.  It wasn't til the evening when he caught on to my shenanigans, had had enough, and finally said, "Go ahead.  Eat whatever you want, but I am not going to." The wanting was instantly gone because I wasn't getting the negative attention from him anymore.

New Mantra:

IT'S NOT ABOUT THE FOOD!!

This Birthday girl didn't eat no cake

Normally when I disappear from the blog, that means I have fallen into a bucket of sugar.  But not this time!  I have found that with all the writing I am doing for grad school, my writing itch gets plenty of scratchin'! 

I celebrated my 42nd birthday on Saturday and I celebrated it with lots of love from family and friends and some super awesome presents, but NO CAKE or ICE CREAM!  I didn't even want it.  I know that having that stuff will just make me want more and more of it, and I also know that it will make me feel like crap mentally and physically, so I skipped it.  Yes it felt weird.  No I didn't feel like I was missing out.  Instead Lonnie and I spent the afternoon in the kitchen making my FAVORITE spicy chicken Mexican bowls with homemade guac, and because it was my birthday and I am not a masochist, I even had some rice in my bowl.  (ACTUALLY I am reading a great book called 'Paleo Takeout' and I learned that there is considerable evidence that white rice is actually NOT the devil that we think it is.  And since I like that information, I am going with it!)  Starting out my 42nd year on earth in this way really feels symbolic, like this is my year. This is the year I get my shit together and shed some serious poundage.  When I finally get that exercise component into play LOOK OUT WORLD!


 

 

 

We're back, baby!

Haha what a terrible pic

Just wrapped up day 2 of no sugar!  It feels SO satisfying to be back on track.  We were off the rails hard, and I felt completely out of control.  Last time we did this, Lonnie was completely on board and supportive, but he struggled because he was really doing it as a 'solidarity' type of thing.  On Sunday,  he decided to watch the movie "Fed Up" and then we watched "That Sugar Film" together.  I could never convince him to watch it last time because one of his pet peeves is my love of reading articles and watching movies that result in my wanting to change our entire lives ;-) 

The two movies together were more than enough to inspire us to kick the sugar bullshit and start feeling great again!

My toughest days are Monday and Tuesday as I am busy busy busy with work, and now grad school stuff now on top of that, but I made it through like a champ with NO EXCUSES!!

HOME!

Today as I slid on my jeans for work...  I was actually planning on probably having to slide them back off again because they were too tight.   NOPE!  If anything,  they were looser!  As planned,  while in Mexico,  I ate and drank everything I wanted to.  Fortunately,  that is a LOT of great fresh Mexican food!  I never really eat junk food in Mexico because it's all just weird stuff.   Even if I am feeling snacky,  and go into a corner store,  I almost always come out empty handed because 1. I don't know what anything is and 2. None of it looks appetizing to me. 

My downfall was traveling home.  I am VERY CAREFUL about what I eat around plane trips for fear of a repeat of the puking incident,  but once we got back in Boston ...and ended up stranded there for 2 days (thank you American Airlines for losing the one bag with our car keys in it).  I must admit,  all bets were off. A combo of emotions and "let's eat all the bad stuff before getting back on it Monday, " led to a weekend of debauchery. 

• There was Pirate's Booty

• There was a mini Ben and Jerry's cookie dough cup

• There were cheez its

• There was chinese take-out

• There was Carrabas bread and lobster ravioli (with the insides squished out because it was nasty)

• There were egg Mcmuffins
• 
  And last night when we got home...  I had a "last meal" of pancakes.

My only saving grace was that it was all vending machine food,  so all small bags ;-)

Back to it today.   Fought a lot of urges to make cupcakes and eat bad food because I have a nasty cold and feel like shit.   But I didn't.  I made  delicious salad (I actually missed salad and craved it in Mexico!),  and Lonnie made a wonderful Pezole soup that was JUST what the doctor ordered for my cold.

I did have an egg Mcmuffin for breakfast because I overslept and then had to rush off to work.   But there are certainly worse things,  and I didn't let it make me think the whole day was ruined.

Tastes like victory

Yesterday and today have been Hellacious work days.   I had to get gas today because I was on 'E. ' I also had to get gas YESTERDAY because I was on 'E. ' I've been everywhere man.  <--sing that

By the end of today I was... AM (still on the clock til midnight) EXHAUSTED.   I was soooo tempted to swing into McDonald's emotionally AND HUNGERALLY, BUT I resisted.   And I had help holding out til I got home thanks to an awesome text husband letting me know that he had cooked a Frittata and had it ready and waiting for me to come home.   So OF COURSE I wasn't going to eat and ruin my appetite and his efforts to help me stay on track! 

Another victory....

I felt like a cup of tea (Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride is MY JAM!) to warm me up emotionally AND hungerally ;)   And I actually thought to myself,  "Well I don't want to get my blood sugar all up right before bed."  Who the hell AM I!?
SO...  I enjoyed my tea without any sweetener just a tea bag and hot water.   And it was actually GOOD!