This Birthday girl didn't eat no cake

Normally when I disappear from the blog, that means I have fallen into a bucket of sugar.  But not this time!  I have found that with all the writing I am doing for grad school, my writing itch gets plenty of scratchin'! 

I celebrated my 42nd birthday on Saturday and I celebrated it with lots of love from family and friends and some super awesome presents, but NO CAKE or ICE CREAM!  I didn't even want it.  I know that having that stuff will just make me want more and more of it, and I also know that it will make me feel like crap mentally and physically, so I skipped it.  Yes it felt weird.  No I didn't feel like I was missing out.  Instead Lonnie and I spent the afternoon in the kitchen making my FAVORITE spicy chicken Mexican bowls with homemade guac, and because it was my birthday and I am not a masochist, I even had some rice in my bowl.  (ACTUALLY I am reading a great book called 'Paleo Takeout' and I learned that there is considerable evidence that white rice is actually NOT the devil that we think it is.  And since I like that information, I am going with it!)  Starting out my 42nd year on earth in this way really feels symbolic, like this is my year. This is the year I get my shit together and shed some serious poundage.  When I finally get that exercise component into play LOOK OUT WORLD!


 

 

 

Day 34- The good the bad and the ugly

Thinking I will be back to daily this week because I feel like I am faltering a bit.  And while I KNOW
and can FEEL that this is PMS related---  It appears knowing is not actually half the battle when you still stuff a pizza into your gob anyway.

New gym pants from Lane Bryant

The good:

Olive Garden dressing--- basically candy.

-On Friday I got up and went to the gym all on my own... all alone! And lifted weights like a beast!!
-Went to Olive Garden with Jessi yesterday, and while I did have some stuff I shouldn't have, a few risotto rice balls, chicken gnocchi soup, and lots of salad (you know that dressing is terrible for you, right-- it'll full of sugar!!
), I passed on breadsticks, and I stuck to one small bowl of soup-- and I didn't finish it.

Oh yeah I had a berry Sangria too ;-)  More sugar, but SO yummy!

-I got some AWESOME new gym pants from Lane Bryant. I usually only shop there for bras and undies, I have never really liked the way their clothes fit.  They were having a giant clearance and I tried them on and LOVE LOVE LOVE.  They are super flattering and stay in place when lifting and running.  WIN WIN WIN!

The bad:
-The two giant margaritas before the Brad Paisley concert.  (Please don't assume from this that I am a country music loving redneck!!!),   I have no regrets though, as we had SO MUCH FUN out and about with our friends!

-Small pizza for dinner last night.  OMG it was so good, but I really should have made a better choice.  Pizza is probably what I miss the most when I am watching carbs and none of those supposed substitutes even come close, so I don't even bother.  Pizza once a month or so is not going to kill me.   (Next month news headline: Woman Chokes and Dies on Pizza Crust)

-The gym probably isn't happening at all this weekend as we are trying to super clean the house and get errands done because we leave for our trip on Friday!

The Ugly:
Bitch please.  There is no ugly here!

 

Day 30!

Luna looks on in the kitchen as the crazy lady takes a yoga selfie

I can't believe that I am on day 30 and still going strong!  I guess since it's been a month now, I should do a little run-down of changes that I have or have not noticed.

Things that have not changed....

• I am still fat.  (I shouldn't say things like that, I know.... positive self talk... blah blah blah....)
• I still have a LOT of bags of clothes that are waiting for me to be smaller so that I can wear them.
• I cannot run 3 miles without walking at all.
• I still do not go to the gym or exercise as much as I would like to
• I still love Justin Bieber
• And One Direction.

Things that HAVE changed....

• I have LESS fat on my body.
• The button on my jeans is not standing on the ledge threatening to of jump from the pressure it's under.
• I can wear some of the clothes that I had not been wearing because they didn't fit properply.
• I can run/walk in 1 minute intervals easily for 15 minutes (and surely more than that, but that is all I have done so far)
• I feel confident in the weight room at the gym, even when Lonnie is not there with me
• I LOOK FORWARD to Sunday yoga
• I don't crave McDonald's anymore. Or cheez its.  Or sour patch kids.
• We have saved probably around $200-400 dollars this month because there is no more nightlt convenience store snack run.  When I think of the shitty food and wasted money.... I almost didn't even want to type that one out because it's embarrassing.
• Much less alcohol is being consumed.  We used to have a tradition of finding new wines to pair with our dinner on Wednesdays, and on weekends would have a couple drinks in the evening.  BUT, even if I have one glass of alcohol, I feel like a zombie in the morning and have to drag my ass out of bed, and I don't need excuses to not get up and going!!  ESPECIALLY on Sunday mornings because I want to feel good for yoga!
• My skin is better, breakouts and blemishes are basically non-existent!
• I never have "stomach issues" anymore or wake up feeling gross
• There have also been some weird changes that may or may not be related....
• I get up earlier every day
• I make my bed every day
• I have started to enjoy folding and putting away laundry and it doesn't just live in baskets anymore

WOW that is a big list of reasons to never stop living this way, and right now I honestly don't even want to stop!  I feel awesome, happy, energized, and confident!!  GO ME!!

Days 23 and 24

Still going string, which I honestly find rather odd.  I think retraining my brain by reminding myself that sugar is the devil is actually working.  "That Sugar Film" is really what drove this change.  And I REALLY want it to stick!  However,  after I first watched 'Supersize Me,'  I couldn't eat McDonald's for 6 months, and obviously that creeped it's way back in, and that is EASY to avoid eating.  Sugar is freaking EVERYWHERE!!

The times I falter, or waiver a bit, is when cooking for the family.  For example... Tonight I am making Pot Roast.  And on the side I am making Salt and vinegar potatoes that someone posted a few weeks ago and Lonnie and I have been obsessed with trying...but haven't because they take so freaking long to cook! 

My Pot Roast is fucking awesomesauce.  And the most awesome part IS the sauce aka gravy!  Flour is a no-no for me. But nor do I want to use weird low-carb chemically thickeners.  Also... the family will organize a revolution if I mess with one of their favorite things that I only make 2-3 times a year!!  So what should I do?  Make it anyway?  Don't use the gravy on mine?  ::::SAD FACE::::  Just have some since it's not a regular occurrence?  I................DON'T....................KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 22- Again with the effing snacks

Last night while in bed watching umpteen episodes of 'Shameless' (DAMN YOU SHOWTIME FREE PREVIEW WEEKEND.... sucking me in and FORCING me to subscribe!), I frigged around on Pinterest looking for some low-carb snack ideas.  What did I learn?  Low carb snacks are just all stupid and boring. 

-Have a handful of nuts (YEAH!!  THAT would be SO satisfying!)
-Make this 18 ingredient dessert or bread made up of bizzare chemicals. (GREAT IDEA!!  Eating healthy should ALWAYS involve filling your body with lab created "food.")
-There is a bizarre obsession with these things called "FAT BOMBS." The name is disgusting.  As is the premise.  It just seems SO necessary!  Like eating something just to.... eat something?

 So basically my search was a waste of time.  I have no idea what "normal" people that don't eat sugar snack on.  Fruit I guess.  Dumb.

Also I read an article lately extolling the evils of artificial sweetener.  Which I have already known forever, but right now just seems like the last fucking thing I want to hear.  Now I feel like an asshole when I drink my beloved morning coffee (because I use 2 squirts of Torani sugar free syrup).  And then I feel like an asshole again when I have a diet caffeine free soda later on.  I DO NOT LIKE TO DRINK PLAIN WATER.  My daughter has been doing this lately....

She claims it is delicious, but it seems like a lot of work and a lot of wasted fruit to me. 

WOW, am I bitchy today or WHAT!?

Day 18- GODDAMN SNACKS

Sometimes you just need a GODDAMN SNACK that ISN'T rendered pepperoni chips from the microwave.

I talked about my standby sweet treat a few blogs ago... http://colleenisonit.blogspot.com/2016/01/day-1-1.html

I still need to figure out how to deal with my salty, crunchy snack needs.  New goal for the weekend.....  Pinterest up some low carb snack ideas. 

One thing I KNOW I like is cheese "crackers."  BUT.... cheese is fucking expensive and you get SO little cracker out of so much cheese!! (....not to mention all the oil that drains off it all is kinda gross but I digress)

Here is a recipe, This chick bakes them in the oven, but as you should know by now....

I just make a big on in a small frying pan on the stove and break it up into little pieces.

Day 1 1

Well I was a bit lazy today,  but sticking to keeping the sugar down.   I was hankering for something sweet,  so I made one of my old standby concoctions that I use when low-carbing.   Whipping cream with a squirt of my sugar free vanilla sweetener,  drizzled with 2 tablespoons of melted (in the microwave with a little of the cream to make a ganache) semisweet chocolate chips,  and sprinkled with pecans.   Obviously this is an occasional indulgence,  but still a better choice for me than the crap I usually eat.

I actually ALMOST ran today and then foolishly decided to wait til Sean got home and I was going to make him go with me.  ...between my urge to run in 39 degrees and Seans school bus arrival,  the urge disappeared.

Days 6 and 7

OOPS  I didn't journal yesterday!

But fear not. This I haven't quit or fallen off the wagon or anything.  I was just BUSY!!!  Busy NOT going to the gym as planned. And it's football day today, so it's not happening today either :)

After a loooooooong day of visiting with family and then shopping.  I made DELICIOUS chicken bowls.  We had planned on going to Chipotle, but the mall area was crazy and we were all beat. So I turned my kitchen into an even better Chipotle!  SO GOOD!!!! 

Today is football food day. We have the stuff to make veggies and dip and coconut shrimp, and I am getting hungry just thinking about it!!!

Maybe I will have a piece of the delicious frittata that Lonnie made yesterday to tie me over :)  BTW.... FRITTATAS ARE SO INTO THE ROTATION!!

Day 5

SLEEPY! 

I have had probably the WORST work week I have had since becoming a crisis worker, but yet, I woke up today from sleeping after yet another  up-all-night shift feeling fantastic. I feel lighter, have more energy, and feel more mentally in control of things.  LOVES IT!

I went into my shift prepared and armed with a snack of rendered pepperoni chips and cheese.  I actually didn't get a headache like I usually do on night shifts.  Did still have nausea when the hardcore sleep deprivation kicked in.

Still haven't made it to the gym and that is driving me bonkers.  Couldn't have gone today anyway because they closed early and I had to sleep.  Lonnie and I plan to go tomorrow.  That place will be a shit show with all the New Year's Resolutioners!

Fun low carb research today!  Football snacks....

http://lowcarbdiets.about.com/od/lowcarbholidaymenus/a/locarbsuperbowl.htm

I think we are going with coconut shrimp and veggies and dip.  CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!

I also found this that I can't wait to make and eat for breakfast every morning this week!!!  We also want to try turning spinach artichoke dip into a frittata!  YUM!

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/47044/spinach-and-potato-frittata/

Now off to research some low carb cocktails.......

Day 2 - The headache has arrived!

Breakfast: Green Beans, chicken, little bits of bacon. YES PLEASE

I woke up this morning with a rager of a headache.  I know this headache well.... it's my body screaming, "WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL MY SUGAR!!!!!!??????  I LOVE THAT SHIT!!!!  GIMME GIMME GIMME!!!"  I ALSO woke up this morning feeling physically 'empty' and flatter.  Losing water and bloat, I assume.  I LOVE this feeling.  It feels like success and that screams MUCH louder than the headache!

Day 1 was a resounding success!!  I worked a 14 hour shift and felt the pangs of temptation a few times.  It was a looooong, annoying day, as I was assigned to a task that I do not enjoy because the usual person who does it and likes is it on vacation.  The worst part of the day was lunchtime.  It was FREEZING and blustery yesterday, and I dreaded the thought of getting out of the car to go into the grocery store salad bar.  I longed to stay in my warm, cozy car drive through my favorite McDonald's and nosh on a yummy "Number 2 with the cheeseburgers plain and a diet coke."  But I didn't!  I braved the cold, got my salad, and it was delicious!  I think it helped that I had a filling. hearty breakfast, so I wasn't ready to eat my arm off when I was able to break for lunch (We don't have set 'lunch breaks.'  We take it when we can get it).

Oddly enough I am listening to Dr Laura right now and someone has called because she is 100lbs overweight and wants to be able to lose weight to manage her diabetes and have a baby.  She talked about her cravings and her battle/struggle with weight loss and Dr Laura finally stopped her and said;
"For you, feeling good in the moment takes priority.  It's a choice."  Story. of. my. life.  And not even with just food.  I do what I want, when I want.  If I don't feel like doing something, I don't do it. (Well except for at work, of course! I love my job and I work with high caliber people who are awesome at their jobs and that shit is contagious!)

She then had the lady take out a chocolate bar and break off a piece and say out loud;
"I can choose you.  Or I can choose to lose 100 pounds.  I choose you."  then she had her eat the chocolate.  She went through this several times.

I am SO going to do this! 

Today's challenges:

• We are midst snowstorm.  Fortunately I knew it was coming and shopped yesterday to prepare, but there is something about being snowed in that makes you want treats.  I'll be fine though.  I'm still early enough in the diet that it's still exciting and new and I love eating the stuff!
• I'm covering the overnight shift tonight for the vacationing co-worker.  Still not sure how I am going to handle overnight shifts.  I guess if I get called out, I will bring a snack?
• I had gym plans today... but not sure that will happen in the storm. SO... if I don't go to the gym there is NO reason that that I can't exercise here at home.  None!